Over the last few months, I’ve been making some subtle changes to my blog. I’ve changed my Pinterest images, my blog layout, my “about me” on all of my social media, and my overall reason for blogging (hint: just for hobby again). Originally, a lot of it was so I could host my candle business on my blog, but I decided that I wanted it separate. After a year and a half, it made sense to re-brand a little more. The message that resonated with me most was becoming more myself everyday.
When I started up again, I wanted this blog to be about keeping the good things good in my life. I wrote positively and constructively which is really no different than how I do now. However, I felt it was a little limiting. This isn’t a blog about being happy, this is a blog about my life and what I’m learning, what I’m doing, and the type of person I am becoming. I’m sure sometime in the future I might change the overall message about what I write about, but this will always stay the same and be a sentiment that I believe in. This was the same message I blogged under for years when I had a small blogger account and we lived in a 600 square feet apartment in Utah.
I know who I am, but adulthood has taught me that I’m always adding depth and layers to that. There is a part of me that thinks by just being me and loving me that it will help others too. When you read my blog, I hope you feel comfortable with yourself too. I hope you realize that we all experience positive and negative experiences. I hope this becomes a community where you can laugh sometimes, where you realize there is more than meets the eye, and that you feel that we’re all becoming ourselves a little bit more together.
“Becoming ourselves means we are actively cooperating with God’s intention for our lives. Not fighting Him or ourselves.” – Stasi Eldredge
I believe every right choice I make helps me become closer to the person that God knows I can be. The thing is though, I believe that about you too, and regardless of how amazing or convoluted our experiences are together, I work extremely hard to treat you that way; sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is very easy. I want you to know that despite your strengths and limitations, I believe you too are a child of God with a divine mission and purpose to be here. There have been times in my life that I have felt I was beyond that freely given love or I felt that I incapable of reaching my goals. I’m here to tell you that you are loved without prerequisite and blessed by your choices in trying.
I don’t think our purposes in life are as complex or unreachable as we make them out to be. Rather, I think they are already here in our everyday. Right now, my life is not world changing and it may never be; the honest fact is that I also don’t care if it is as long as I feel I’m doing the right thing. I have an anxiety disorder, chronic health issues, insecurities, and a life that wouldn’t be in a book or on a TV show. My life is simple. I love reading books, traveling, cooking, and the close friendships I make. I’m working part-time as an ESL teacher, I make candles, I’m a wife, a friend, a daughter, and a sister. I’m not producing research like I was told to do in grad school, I’m not making a lot of money like what I’m told is success, and my most basic familial relationships are often complicated and hard to explain.
From the outside looking in, my life isn’t really much of anything and I’m okay with that. I find a lot of purpose in what I am doing though and I feel a lot of peace when I pray about it before I fall asleep every night. However, I’m really good at caring, I’m really good at noticing, I’m really good at feeling, and I’m really good at being me.
My life’s work is becoming more than I am now in this very season of life right now. I hope I can help you do the same.